This song is a great way to describe how I feel. I just want to get on my knees and surrender...give up. Have the gods or God burn the hell out of me because it seems that life is a tad bit harder than that fate...

Let me enlighten you...sometimes, thats just how I pray!

"Prayer"

Another dream that will never come true
Just to compliment your sorrow
Another life that I've taken from you
A gift to add on to your pain and suffering
Another truth you can never believe
Has crippled you completely
All the cries you're beginning to hear
Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening

Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray

[Chorus:]
Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive, inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away

Another nightmare about to come true
Will manifest tomorrow
Another love that I've taken from you
Lost in time, on the edge of suffering
Another taste of the evil I breed
Will level you completely
Bring to life everything that you fear
Live in the dark, and the world is threatening

Let me enlighten you
This is the way i pray

[Chorus]

Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, cast aside
Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, you've made me turn away

[Chorus Variant:]
Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive, inside
Living my life's not hard enough,
They take everything from you

[Chorus]

Life has been pretty interesting. Stevie and I are on our year of being together. It has been an interesting road but I can honestly say that I am happy with him.

I'm not quite so happy at the place where I am at tho. School is sucking. I took my first test tuesday and I cannot believe that I did so badly on it. I pay attention in class for the most part but something just sucked in me this time. So yeah, I dont know why I decided to do Physiological Psychology with Cognitive Psychology. It's the DUMBEST move I have ever done. Just fyi...psysio-psych deals with brain, neuron passages and that stuff. Cognitive deals with how the brain processes thoughts and such. I only confuse the two and now I feel stuck. Cant drop one class because it will put me under being a full time student. I just do not know what to do...

To top off our one year, I had a weird dream about the first person I ever loved. Let's just say, I still love that person, and it is strong. Im not afraid I am going to do something, Im just afraid I am going to think less of stevie because I see that my love for this person is so strong. It's sad. It really is. I thought I was severing the bond, I am still the 16yr old boy locked in his head dreaming about an alternate reality that is impossible.

Since the dream, I've been thinking a lot about my coming out. The first time I told someone was Bryan, sophmore year. I was scared as fuck. It's not something I wanted to leak out at DC. I just wanted someone to know and listen. Bryan made me feel comfortable. I didnt feel like I was being treated anything less. I liked that part about Bryan and my friendship the best.

Told my mom but she just thought it was a phase...until now.

Some people found out due to my ignorance but the next big person was Mandi. She had it worse, and she handled it pretty well. She was the second person to treat me the same. I felt at peace with her and that she could know the real me. I loved that feeling to.

Finally I decided to come out to my friends Jay and Adam. I told Jay and the moment those words slipped out of my lips, I knew he thought differently about me. Until we wrestled at Stevie's house, I think he thought I was a bit more girly...or weak...I dont know if its true but its what I felt. I believe Adam still thinks I am a weird person who is to girly acting to do anything manly. Lol.

The important question is Why do straight guys think all gay/bisexual men are immediately weaker and womanly? I am still the same old Korey. The one who loves to play sports. Like to duel and Rough and emotionless (on occasion). The only difference is who I'm in love with. I think I am finally being comfortable with who I am and not trying to play both sides.

I chose this song because I like how Lady Gaga says that His kisses and touch and all that is the equivalent of money.

Money Honey Lyrics

Thats m-o-n-e-y, so sexy

Damn, I love the Jag, the jet and the mansion
Oh yeah
And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands
Oh yeah

It's good to live expensive
You know it
But my knees get weak intensive

When you give me k-kisses
That's money honey
Well I'm your lover and your mistress
That's money honey
When you touch me, it's so delicious
That's money honey
Baby when you tear me to pieces
That's money honey

Thats m-o-n-e-y, so sexy

Damn, I love the boat by the beach on the west coast
Oh yeah
And I enjoy some fine champagne while my girls toast
Oh yeah
It's good to live expensive
You know it
But my knees get weak intensive

When you give me k-kisses
That's money honey
Well I'm your lover and your mistress
That's money honey
When you touch me, it's so delicious
That's money honey
Baby when you tear me to pieces
That's money honey

You know I appreciate the finer things
But its not what makes me happiest baby
(I can do without a thing)
The turn in loving is more than I can handle
Never burn out this candle baby, baby

K-K-K-Kisses
That's money honey
Well I'm your lover and your mistress
That's money honey
When you touch me, it's so delicious
That's money honey
Baby when you tear me to pieces
That's money honey

When you give me k-kisses
That's money honey
Well I'm your lover and your mistress
That's money honey
When you touch me, it's so delicious
That's money honey
Baby when you tear me to pieces
That's money honey

When you give me k-kisses
That's money honey
Well I'm your lover and your mistress
That's money honey
When you touch me, it's so delicious
That's money honey
Baby when you tear me to pieces
That's money honey

Thats m-o-n-e-y, so sexy